Attitude Towards The Past

Today is day 5 of Eating Disorders Awareness Week 2014.
(It's gone by so quickly!)

Before when I looked back at the past, I saw only the bad things that I had done and the people I had upset. Instead of thinking "Well, I just have to move forwards from this and learn from my mistakes", which would be the logical and healthier attitude towards it, I would think, "I have done so many bad things in my life, and I deserve the same pain back so I should punish myself. I was mean and therefore I do not deserve happiness". But that is wrong. Everyone deserves happiness. Yes, everyone will feel sad at points in their life, but at the same time, you should also experience happiness.

"Don't let the sadness of your past and the fear of your future take away from the happiness of your present"

Image via here.

Without sadness you cannot truly feel happiness, so yes- to a certain extent everyone is sad at some point and that isn't a bad thing.

You have the right to feel any emotion; no matter how silly or stupid you think your emotion is, you are allowed to feel like that, and it is much better to accept how you are feeling and learn how to deal with it and move on, than not accept it and struggle to ever let yourself feel emotions.

I think partly my eating disorder developed as a way of punishing myself. And now that I've had therapy and learnt to understand mental health and recovery better, I have no realised that punishing myself won't change anything; It will only leave me to regret more things about my past.

Instead of regretting having an eating disorder, I am thankful for all I have learnt from it, and the people I may be able to help with my experience.

There is always a positive and a negative way of looking at every situation, and I think it's time I started focusing on the positive, and that's my tip for anyone reading this post too.

So, instead of judging your past, take a deep breath, and let go.
It's never too late to start again and become that person you've always wanted to be.

Hannah xox